Needed: shopping spree!

so I went to the grocery store today dressed pretty much in the typical “mom” attire.  Nothing special, not trying to be attractive or anything and not dyke-looking, etc; just plain old boring clothes.  I felt so stupid walking around and so uncomfy in those clothes.  I just wanted to go home and take a shower, fix my hair and put on some clothes I feel suit me.  I didn’t really want to be out in public like that, but when you are a busy mom you don’t always have the time to look how you want.

I am still overweight from having the baby, so i don’t have a lot of good clothes that fit me right now and we really don’t have a lot of money to shop for new ones.  I try to find deals where I can; yet it is hard to do some real shopping with 3 kids in tow most of the time.  I also want to loose weight and am actively trying to do so, so i don’t want to spend money on something I won’t wear that long.  It is such a lose-lose situation right now.  I have a lot more clothes I can wear once I lose some more weight.  I really think I need to bite the bullet and go ahead and buy some for now before I go insane.  I don’t really care too much what other people think about how I look as long as I think I look good, hehe.  I hate it when I feel unattractive and slobby and don’t feel I am expressing myself how I want to.

Anyway, that leads me to think about my hubby and how he feels sometimes when he is out in public with me.  A lot of times I do look like quite the dyke.  Most of the time I tone it down so that I don’t affect him too much.   If i were fully out and in the lifestyle, I would prolly be shopping in the men’s section a heck of a lot more.   I just can’t always find what I am looking for in the women’s section.  It is annoying.  Especailly all the stupid stretchy pants, ugh, I hate those things.  Anyway, I know if he felt comfy walking around in dresses or something like that, I would not really want to be seen with him in public as my husband, lol.  So I worry sometimes how he feels but he never seems to care or say anything.  He usually finds me attractive, it’s weird.  Unless he just says that to be nice cuz he loves me, lol.