Saving Face

Saving Face

Written and Directed by Alice Wu

You would think that tradition only lived where it was born. And you would be wrong. It follows you wherever you are; it’s not something you can separate yourself from. Surely something will give you away—the way you speak, the way you dress, the way you struggle to keep your shoes on when you enter a house because you’re just so used to taking them off, your slit eyes.

Wilhelmina grew up in the States, but was raised Chinese. She grew up in a liberal culture, and has assimilated into a kind of life that seems perfectly normal—except it doesn’t; at least not for her family.

Her widow mother, comically portrayed as a stubborn yet deeply understanding woman, drags her to regular get-togethers of the Chinese community, where Wilhelmina is expected to find her future husband. (Why, her mother asks, is she wearing men’s clothes again?) It is at these get-togethers that we see how high the expectations are to fulfill what has been dictated by tradition, culture, and elders.

Along the course of the story, Wilhelmina does meet someone, a childhood friend she has forgotten, and something begins between her and Vivian. Wil holds back. Vivian tells her, in a line I cannot forget, “you’re too scared to look the world in the eye and let it watch you fall in love.”

Together, mother and daughter learn about each other, learn to support each other, and learn to stand up for themselves. In a way uncharacteristic of the expected subtleties, they break away from the restricting concepts of arranged marriage, sexuality, and shame.

I appreciated the character of Wilhelmina’s African-American best friend, a laid back guy who thinks Wil worries too much. He gives comic relief that is welcome but unnecessary (this is a very light story), and it is for him that all the nuances of Chinese culture need to be explained.

Also, I enjoyed how the Chinese culture was illustrated, but I wouldn’t be able to tell whether or not it was accurate. Our Philippine culture, though, did seem quite similar, albeit much less blatantly imposed. Culture is just as much part of one’s identity as sexuality is.

Everything is intertwined.