Sunday, November 29, 2009

Storm Clouds Gather

I’ve been doing some writing about other things lately, namely my interest in the historic changes that are about to sweep through the US. It’s becoming sort of a hobby of mine, watching and writing about my country as it shifts from one phase to the next. Because the phases of change stretch about 20 years each, it’s difficult for one person to notice the pattern. But going as far back as the ancient Romans scholars noticed that there were recurring themes in history that seemed to recur on an 80 year cycle.

I’ve been interested in the writing of Bill Strauss and Neil Howe for some time now, as they’ve written a few books on the topic. They rediscovered the old idea of these cycles and put their own spin on the phases and causes. I guess a short explanation of the framework is in order, as it ties into some of the things I’ve been writing about the transgender business.

According to the authors the 80 year cycle, which they label a “saeculum” after the old Roman term for the length of a long human life, can be divided into 4 phases, or “turnings”. In the 1st turning a culture experiences a high. Institutions are strong, public trust in authority is at a peak, and society is very productive in a material sense. At the same time, spirituality and individuality is at a low point. An example of this sort of period would be the post-war years of 1946 through the early 1960’s.

The 2nd turning arrives after a new generation has been born into the high and begins to reach adulthood. After apparant tranquility of the high, people begin to question the assumptions that society makes. Individualism is on the rise and new philosophies emerge to challenge the status quo. The placid high changes into a tumultuous “awakening”. This is the 1960’s and 70’s.

As the awakening plays out, it gives way to a time of respite from all the questioning. The rapid social changes of the awakening settle into a relatively stable milieu, for the time being, as the country catches its breath. The larger questions have been hashed out and an exhausted society relaxes, with individuality becoming more important. This is the beginning of a great unravelling.

Trust in authority begins to waver as a new generation assumes power a few years into the unravelling. The still-unsettled arguments of the awakening period rear their heads and the government begins to gridlock. Things that were easy to accomplish in the time of a high become impossible as vested interests, committee think, and red tape snarl everyone in a paralyzing web. People have a sense that everything is spinning out of control and we are powerless to do anything about it. This was the 80’s and 90’s through very recently.

Culture wars erupt as this sense of helplessness leave the people only their individual voices as a means of addressing it. We rail against an intractible unknown, an invisible something that we all feel is keeping us down. Individuality reaches a peak, trust in institutions and authority declines to a low. When both these currents reach their maximum, the unravelling gives way to the next turning.

The 4th turning begins with a great sense of dread. People instinctively sense is something is not quite right. The old social order of the high can no longer address the problems of the current day, and there is nothing on the horizon to replace it. The gridlock and social paralysis of the unravelling continue and eventually result in the collapse of the old order entirely. The country descends into crises.

Strauss and Howe wrote that 4th turnings are a time when the old is swept away. It is a time of “maximum effort”; wars are fought with desperation and finality.  Then the nation passes through a “great gate of history”, reborn into the new high- or descending toward its eventual demise. There is no guarantee that a country will come through the crises well.

And that is where we find ourselves now.  The first rumblings have already passed, signaling the beginning of the crises.  We anxiously brace for the shockwaves to follow,.  The mood has darkened everywhere and although people don’t consciously understand why, we have a collective sense of impending dread.

It will be a number of years before this passes and it does not do so without tribulation.  In each of the 3 previous saecula that comprise the history of the US, the crises phase has always involved large scale wars.  First the Revolution, then the Civil War, and finally World War II.  That’s not to say it will always be the case, as there have been examples of crises that just play themselves out over time, but it is more the rule than the exception.  So what does all this have to do with TG?

Transgender is an artifact of the past.  It is a little bit of awakening-era navel gazing gone awry.  Ideas from an awakening crystalize towards its end, and that is where the flotsam of transgender was born.  As the awakening became the  unraveling individuality blossomed further, and there is an “anything goes” aspect to that phase that allowed it to live on, seemingly against all reason.

In a crises all foolishness is cast aside.  People who formerly tolerated nonsense have no patience for it when their own lives and livelihoods seem threatened.  Transgender has been dying a lingering death for some time, and yet the final end has yet to come.  The deathknell has sounded, however, with the repudiation of gay marriage across the country.  The majority has better things to worry about, and the formerly pompous and condescending elite gay lobby is finding doors slammed in its face.  It is unfortunate that they pursued such a flawed political strategy during their window of opportunity, as now it will be quite some time before people will be willing to revisit the question again.  Probably decades.  And as the gay lobby goes, so goes the fortunes of the transgender.  As others have pointed out they are joined at the hip.  Simply put, transgender is gay.

The internet is an avatar for social phenomena throughout the country.  If something is going on, the leading edge buzz is out here where we are talking to each other.  All across the net crossdresser vanity sites, transgender “support” pages, and the bizarre social theoreticians that accompany these things are falling silent.  Everyone involved with that silly business knows the party is over.

And it’s about time.

[Via http://ariablue.wordpress.com]

Ruined

Sometimes they manage to ruin even the simplest of pleasures in my life. After a particularly rough 2 hour talk on the way back home from my grandparents house (10 hr trip, fml) I thought that the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. With 4 hours left I got a text message from the girl who invited me to youth group and is pretty much, awesome. We’ll call her E. Anyways, E texted me and asked if I wanted to go to a sleepover tonight at L’s house tonight. Before I could respond she texted me again with another option, spending the night at (shit, this girls name starts with E too!…we’ll call her E2x ahaha) E2x’s house. Either way, she just wanted to know if I could hang out. I got excited as almost anyone would and told her that I should be back in time to go to either one with her.

Then I told my parents that I was going to spend the night at someones house. My father then began his speech. In which he said something to the gist of “You know what I think? Well, I’m going to tell you what I think. I’m so encouraged. I really think you don’t want to be gay. You want to form right relationships with females and right now you just struggle saying that. I believe you can change and I really do trust you to go spend the night at a girls house.”

Meanwhile I’m sitting in the back thinking wtf and tearing up. He went on for a little about how he wouldn’t allow me to spend the night at someones house if he thought I was truly gay and seeking out a partner. And then when it was all done with he asked why I was upset. Why am I upset?! Fucker. He ruined it. He made me feel so…dirty, so wrong. As if there would be reason to not trust me to spend the night at a friends house? I know he was saying that he did trust me, but his reason for trusting me is wrong. He should trust me because I can be friends with females and not want to fuck them. His reason for trusting me should not be that he thinks I honestly don’t want to be gay but that I’m afraid to say it.

I’M GAY. I’M GAY.

As proud2badork put it:

“I am a

Box lunching

Carpet munching

Flag waving

Vag craving

Skirt peeking

Relationship seeking

Melissa Ethridge singing

Tool belt bringing

Playing for the L team

Living the gay dream

U-hauling

Girl calling

Softball player

Couldnt be gayer

Chasing rainbows

Shopping at Lowes

Cat owning

Woman moaning

Spider killing

Emotion spilling

Girl scouter

Closet outer

After sex holding

Mismatched clothing

Ellen fan

Dress like a man

Olivia Cruise booking

Hot lady looking

Strap on donning

Mow the lawning

Gay pride marching

Back arching

G spot locator

Roller derby skater

Wardrobe sharing

Boob staring

Lesbian.”

And although I’m nearly an adult, I feel as if they are stealing the little things left I have. I wanted to go spend a crazy night out with some girls from my English class. I didn’t want to “go find a partner”. They just don’t get why their encouragement makes me feel like shit. Needless to say, that ruined my excitement and I shall now spend the night a home. UGH. I need to work on not allowing them to get at me like this.

[Via http://silencednolonger.wordpress.com]

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Gayness isn't the Problem

I was talking to my mom a little while ago and she asked me “not to bring up the topic that my brother is gay.” I was taken aback as we weren’t even talking about being gay. Further, she asked me not to talk to my kids about my brother being gay… as though that would somehow keep gayness away from them.

Jessica’s buddy at school is a gay fella and we all know his boyfriend. Another gal Jessica is friends with is also gay and so is her foreign exchange student.  Gay is everywhere.

Another close friend is gay, but is single at the moment, so mother thinks she isn’t really gay since she’s single. I countered with “I think she’s single because she’s afraid of being hurt” … to which she agreed.

So what is it? Why this sudden picking on me and gayness?? Turns out after I probed a bit about what was really wrong that she’s pissed at my dad, not me. She’s ignoring him till he realizes she’s ignoring him. Fat chance…. So she took it out on gayness.

Wonder how often that’s happened?

[Via http://robinpaterson.wordpress.com]

Discrimination is Personal.

Rep. Barney Frank talks on the floor of the House about discrimination against our LGBT community. Politics is supposed to be about policy, and is supposed to be a coat-check platform, where emotion and personal ties are left at the door. But I honestly don’t believe we live in that reality any longer.

He tried, but his true self showed through. And, according to me, good on him.

[Via http://alaskacommons.wordpress.com]

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Leave it to Breeders: Thanksgiving Edition

Straight people love a good charity case. They love to put on their finest buckles, armor, and smug expressions and spend all afternoon feeling sorry for those they deem less fortunate than themselves. Never mind that the Native Americans–like the homosexuals before them–were doing pretty well in the first place, without the help of a bunch of straight, white people zooming around Plymouth Rock in their gas-guzzling buggies and building thatched-roof McMansions as far as the eye can see. “Oh, if I could only help them in some way,” Sally Farthington thinks to herself, “If only my fried chicken were good enough–maybe they’d learn to be more like us…” Thanks but no thanks, Dear Breeder.

Oh please, painter of group nationalistic portraits foregrounded by fuzzy buildings and trees: We know this representation is a bold-faced lie. We know, for instance, that chocolate chip cookies were not served to a seated crowd of Native Americans by a Jane Austen character. We know that it would not become fashionable to wear electric blue stockings with green velvet pants (and to cross your legs in such a manner) until 1885, the year of Boy George’s birth. And we also know that Shirley Temple and her dog Sparky most certainly were not the guests of honor at what you so artlessly hail as “The First Thanksgiving.”

I will, however, compliment you, Painter of a Thousand Inaccurate Details, on your fine rendering of male facial hair. The drag kings who read our blog are going to be ecstatic.

And isn’t that, after all, what Thanksgiving is really about?

[Via http://breedersdigest.org]

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Getting away

Before I left my husband July 4th weekend, 1974, we had planned a three week vacation in Yugoslavia. I had been captivated by photos I’d seen of its mountains and the beauty of pre-war Dubrovnik. After I had moved out of our apartment, he called to ask if I was still going. I was incredulous – of course not. He wanted me to go with him anyway, but I refused, even when he said we couldn’t get our deposit money back.

I took very little when I left and selfishly left the rest for him to sort through and dispose of. It wasn’t my finest hour, and I knew then that it was unfair and self-centered. I have no justification. I believed I was running for my life, but I knew it looked irresponsible and heartless. I didn’t tell many people at Yale the truth as to why I left, because when I told my former boss she reacted very negatively. She was the one person I thought I could count on, but I was very wrong. A staunch feminist, she took what was then a common stand against homosexuality. Where I thought feminism set me free, she thought lesbianism tainted the fight for women’s rights.

One day in late July I was in the Provost’s office talking to her assistant, someone who didn’t reject me. I explained I had three weeks of vacation coming, but didn’t have anywhere to go or a lot of money. My husband had switched his plans around with the travel agency and went to England for a couple of weeks.

My friend told me she’d just read a letter to the editor of Ms Magazine about a women’s retreat in upstate New York. She got the magazine out, and read the letter to me. The place was in Paradox, New York, and offered a place for women to go who were re-assessing their lives. That sounded like me.

We got out a map, found the town, a tiny dot outside Schroon Lake, and I copied down the address. That night I wrote the woman a letter, explaining my situation and asking what the rates were. I told her when I would be coming – I decided to go for one week since I didn’t know anything about the place or the woman running it – and a week later received a reply. She gave me the sliding scale rates and told me to call when I arrived in Schroon Lake on Sunday, August 4, 1974.

My friend Mary helped me shop for a couple of new outfits, appropriate to a less formal lifestyle. No more hose or heels for me. She told me I had to have a denim shirt. All lesbians had denim shirts, and I couldn’t be without one. I also bought a pair of burnt orange brushed velvet jeans – remember, this was 1974 – and a pair of dark brown suede boots with gum soles.

I read incessantly, but came to hate evenings and weekends because I was so incredibly lonely. Mary spent weekends and evenings with her girlfriend. I walked around the University, often through areas of New Haven that weren’t really safe, but I didn’t care. Every evening I rode my bicycle over to hear the carillon concerts at Harkness Tower. One Saturday, I rode up to the top of East Rock and back, a ten-mile trip, but I was reminded of climbs I’d made with my husband up West Rock. I was restless and anxious, waiting for the trip to New York.

The bus left New Haven at 9:15am, and Mary came down to see me off. I was more than a little annoyed when she teased me about falling for someone during the week. Neither of us knew that the trip would change my life. The bus stopped in Springfield, MA, then on to Albany, NY, where I changed for the trip up I-87, the Northway. I dozed off and on, read a book I’d brought, and wondered what I’d find at the end of the five hour ride.

A teenage girl got on in Lake George and sat next to me. She babbled quite a bit about a church group or camp located in Schroon Lake and asked if I was part of that. I assured her I was not and asked about the woman’s retreat, but she had never heard of one in the area. That made me somewhat uneasy.

When I got off in Schroon Lake, I felt I was looking at a postcard. The majestic Adirondack Mountains soared around me. A road next to a white church ran down to a beautiful deep blue lake. From my bus companion, I knew that Schroon Lake was where the movie “Marjorie Morningstar” had been filmed. The lake was dotted with white sails and the sandy beach covered with people in brightly colored swimsuits.

I took my pack and guitar and sat on the hill in front of the church. No one was there to meet me. I felt very small.

©2009 jgschenck

[Via http://jgschenck.wordpress.com]

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Bi-Curious Chronicles pt. 1

For the longest time, I worked at a bar called the Tilted Kilt wearing a tiny whore outfit serving creepy old men booze. I really despised the job, feigning interest in nasty guys who had daughters my age- but didn’t let that stop them from hitting on me constantly. One of the perks to working in this sort of seedy, sexually charged establishment was the caliber of woman that came in. To be sure there were miserable girlfriends who didn’t disguise their disdain for our whore-ish-ness when their boyfriends dragged them in, but there were also a lot of bi-curious girls who felt comfortable in revealing their appreciation for the female form. They quite often assumed that because the servers were okay with being half naked, that we were open to girl-to-girl flirtation. And, I have always been open to dating both men and women, so I guess they must have assumed correctly.

Me as a Scottish Whore

So, though I dealt with steaming piles of nasty shit from old men, I also got to hit on a lot of girls, and I loved it. But one chick in particular taught me a valuable life lesson: women are manipulative and emotional and out of their Goddamn minds.

There was a girl who was absolutely stunning-  smoking-fucking-hot. She had legs for days and a very sexy, dark European look. Her name was Katia and she came in to see me fairly often. She would come in and the male bartenders would get boners underneath their kilts looking at her, and would never miss an opportunity to throw about lewd comments about how bad they wanted to bang her.

Katia always sat in my section. She would strut in, sit down at one of my tables, and flirt with me for hours. I really enjoyed when she came in- this girl was confident and seemed like she knew what she wanted. We were always very fliratious and animated when we talked with each other. But, she had a boyfriend, who she would sometimes bring with her, who would linger awkwardly on the side-lines as me and Katia talked. My instincts told me they were probably interested in a threesome, so I never really pursued her, and kept the relationship at a friendly, interested, but unobtainable level. Katia eventually got my number, I had given it to her not ever expecting her to really call or try to hang out.

A few weeks later, on a Tuesday night, I was getting off of work around midnight when Katia started blowing up my phone. I ignored the first call, but after she sent a text message that said “Please answer me, I need your help!” and another phone call, I picked up- warily.

Me: Hey, Katia! How are you girly.. what’s going on?

Katia:  EVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ah shitttttt… Katia was bawling. I had been hoping that her text message for assistance, and persistant phone calls would be to help her solve a stupid drunken dispute about some trivia fact that she knew I’d know the answer to. But no. She was wailing on the other end of the line, and I had no idea how to react.

Me: Katia, are you okay?

Katia (in hysterics): Noooooooooooooooo…. Eva!  Eva my boyfriend and I are fighting and he’s threatening me and he just kicked me out of the house and I have nothing, no keys, no money, nothing and none of my fucking friends are answering their phones.. (sniff.. sniff.. sniff..) Oh my GODDDDDDD, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be by myself right now, I can’t, I want to go run into traffic. I don’t want to be alive right now.. Oh my GOOODDDDDDDDDDD.

Me (barely knowing this girl, and only knowing her as a fun flirt, not wanting to get involved): Umm.. well.. what do you want me to do Katia?

Katia: I only live a block away from your work, please, please just come and pick me up and sit with me until I can get a hold of SOMEBODY, ANYBODY! Eva, I feel so bad doing this to you, I know we don’t know each other very well I just don’t know what to dooooooo….”

Me: Okay.. okay.. I can come pick you up and we can go hang out for a while.. I have to get up at 5 a.m. and go do a promotion for work though- so I obviously want to help you but I really need you to try and figure out some kind of plan okay hon?”

Katia: (sniff.. sniff..) “Okaaaay. Thank you Eva! This means a lot to me, you are such a nice girl..”

So, she gave me directions to her house and I drove to go get her. When I pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex, I was speechless. This girl was rolling around on the cement ground of the parking lot, wailing and screaming. I slowly pulled up next to her and got out of my car..

“Evvaaaaa I’m so glad you’re here I can’t stand him, he is evil and he’s in my house and I don’t know what to dooooo…” she cried.

I leaned down and pulled her up from the ground…

“We’ll figure it out Katia.. You need pull yourself together, gorgeous. We’ll figure something out,” I tried consoling her.

I packed her flailing, lithe body into my car and hopped back into the driver’s seat. Even though it was now apparent that Katia was heavily intoxicated, we decided we would go to the bar down the street until she figured out where she was going to stay and what she was going to do and if she could get a hold of anybody.

As I drove, she explained what had happened between her and her boyfriend that night, and I absorbed what I could through the sniffs and sobs. I tried to avoid looking at her face because at this point I just felt embarrassed for her. Her make-up was smeared all over her face, her cheeks were tear stained, and she had to keep wiping her nose because it was running from crying too hard. The sexy, confident, woman who always looked so collected was crumbling before me. I reached a hand out and rubbed her back as I drove, anxious to sit this girl down, wipe her face off, get a beer, and help her get her shit together.

Too bad it was 1 a.m. on a Tuesday. As I pulled into the parking lot of the nearest bar, it looked like the chances of the place being open were dismal. The lights were off and there were no cars anywhere to be found. I slowed my car in front of the door and was about to ask Katia for any other ideas when she brightened up and declared, “It’s okay, I know the owners! I’m sure we can just go in there anyway!” and proceeded to hop out of the car and go and yank on the door as hard as she could.

The alarm started going off immediately. Looking like a scolded puppy, she ran back towards me..

“Oh my god..  I’m so sorry! I thought I’d be able to go in! I know the owner!”

I wasn’t really aware if she realized that “knowing somebody” to get drinks at a bar was different than being given the divine power of opening the locked doors when the place was closed. Needless to say, I sped out of the parking lot to avoid any questioning by the cops who would be showing up shortly, who would have made the night all the more uncomfortable.

At this point, I was tired. Tired from working a double that day, emotionally exhausted from trying to console the disaster in my passenger seat, and not looking forward to waking up in T-minus 4 hours to go get my pictures taken for advertisements for the Tilted Kilt. We drove around for thirty more minutes as she continued to suck out all of my energy with her crying and blatant inability to regain composure. All I wanted was solace. I wanted to drop this girl off somewhere so I could crawl into my bed at home and burrow into my blankets and not have to worry about what I was going to do with her. I kept holding out hope that she would get in touch with somebody and find a place to stay. But, eventually I decided that even if I had to continue to deal with an unstable, emotional Katia, I’d rather be doing it from the comfort of my home. So, I gave in.

“Katia.. I have a spare bedroom at my house. You can crash in it if you’d like, but I really just need to get home. I can give you a ride back to your place at 5 a.m. cuz that’s when I have to be at work.. is that okay?”

She whimpered and nodded. The rest of the twenty minute drive to my house was filled with her crying about her relationship and me silently nodding and inserting the concerned “Mmhmmm’s” when necessary. When we pulled into my apartment complex at 2 a.m., my ears were ringing from her sobbing.  I was so happy to be home as we dragged our sorry asses up the stairs to my place. Then, as soon as I inserted my keys and jiggled my front door open, Katia was in my house and bee-lining towards the kitchen. Once there, she opened my refrigerator and pulled out a can of beer- which she then proceeded to stab in the side and shotgun. Once finished, she spiked the can onto the ground, and pulled out another. She repeated the process three times, as I stood there watching, stunned.

“Oh my GODDDDD I needed that,” she said when beer number four was gone, and shrugged.

I decided not to comment, because all I wanted to do was sleep, so I showed her back to the spare bedroom and went to grab her pair of pajamas. As I walked into the spare room to hand her the clothes, Katia knocked them out of my hands,  grabbed the collar of my shirt, threw me onto the extra bed, crawled on top of me, and started kissing me. The pathetic looking tear stained girl who I had been trying to piece together for the last 3 hours had suddenly transformed into a vixen on the prowl. I was so tired, and confused, and completely clueless as to what this girl needed- I just went with it.

She wanted to be in control, and I let her be. She stopped and told me she had never been with a woman before but had always fantasized about it. I let her keep going. I was so defeated by how crazy this girl was that, and so bewildered at how premeditated this entire night had been to get to this point. She kept going for a while, then suddenly became unsure and asked me to take over. I did, and after we finished I was drained of every ounce of energy in my body. I rolled onto my back and looked over at her, and as I did, she sat bolt upright, suddenly, like some kind of switch had flipped.

She looked at me over her shoulder, looking somehow victorious, and said, “Okay! I’ll let myself out.. I’ll get a cab home.”

And she got up and walked out of my room, completely composed, as if nothing had just happened.

And though I felt like I had lead blocks for feet, when I heard the door slam, I ran into the living room and locked the door behind her as fast as I could.

[Via http://eves705.wordpress.com]

I may be confusing

At least that’s what Facebook tells me. You see, today while I was updating my phone number, I also updated my gender… kind of. You see, the gender with which I identify (neither solely male or female) was offered to me, so I just left it blank, apparently that wasn’t the thing to do.

I then received this lovely message on my News Feed telling me that I may be confusing people:

 

"No gender on Lauren's Facebook?! I'm so confused about life!"

Now, this to me is funny. Being someone of the genderqueer variety actually does confuse people, at least that is the look they give me when I notify them of the fact. So not only is this notice ignorant, it could also be seen as offensive. Thankfully for Facebook, I run a little blog that I’m sure no administrators read – though that last post about Tila coming out on Twitter was pretty darn good – so I don’t think they’ll be offended by the confusing sarcastic person any time soon.

The Internet thinks of me in a very odd light, I think. Facebook is confused by me, and I am confused, in turn by YouTube and their video suggestions… why do they think I want a Snuggie so badly? Maybe the Snuggie comes in gender neutral, so I can confuse people! Now that, would be sweet.

Regular posts coming back soon, thank you for being so patient… or distracting yourself the only way a sexual deviant knows how – knitting your own non-corporate Snuggie snugly blanket with arm holes, or course!

 

[Via http://laurenpettigrew.wordpress.com]

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Feast of Fun Deserves Top Honors Again - Please Vote!

Marc Felion and Fausto Fernos of the Feast of Fun Podcast

It is that time of year where the most authentic kind of grass root voting is going on right now on the the Internet for the 2009 Podcast Awards.  There are several categories ranging from Overall People’s Choice  to Best Technology and Science Award.

Nominated again this year is my favorite podcast, The Feast of Fun. They have won the award in the category for  Best GLBT Podcast three years in a row now.  They are nominated in two categories this year for  People’s Choice for Best Overall Podcast and in the Best GLBT Podcast category also.   They deserve the double win this year.

Yes, they are a GLBT themed show, but they are also  a model of what a successful independent podcast entertainment program can look like from  home grown start to an international entertainment internet presence.

What is brilliant about the Feast of Fun or FOF is that its proprietors, Fausto Fernos and Marc Felion, have built it up on  donations and very limited advertising.  This is truly a homegrown operation which  personifies the opportunities on the Internet offered to the common man who is willing to put in the time , energy and commitment.

They have been able to produce almost daily podcasts attracting not only GLBT personalities but Hollywood celebrities and political notables.  They are current in breaking news and have their unique form of activism that speaks to the regular Joe and Sally of the GLBT community.

I truly believe that as time moves on, they will be recognized as one of the major influential voices of the GLBT community in this century.  These guys from Chicago have tapped into what makes the community tick!

This is significant in a time where major GLBT media sources have been failing,  the FOF has been thriving with its unique blend of entertainment, humor and current news reporting.  Fernos and Felion have always been ahead of the trends capitalizing on the Internet with the now Obama-branded grassroots fund raising and outreach method to the masses, long before the President made it his own.

The FOF has been one of the most popular comedy podcasts on iTunes.  I used to commute to work on the train long distance  and it was a popular staple of mine to listen to it every morning.  I found myself laughing out loud.  They are funny, entertaining and edgy podcasts.

Through the FOF I discovered musicians, comedians, causes, shows, and  people I would have never heard of or cared about. I  have blogged about several of them and made contact with these people.  It has been an amazing experience.

That is the genius of FOF.  They really had the spirit of Social Media before that phrase was coined.  They built a community around their show. They reached out not only in all the normal electronic media forms but by doing “Meet and Greets” throughout the nation.

They developed one of the most active community forums on the Internet.  Their video postings brought us into their lives.  I mean most fans without really knowing them, feel like Mark and Fausto are their best friends.

They raise money by selling their exclusive tee shirts that they update from time to time like an exclusive funky fashion line.  They really keep things fun!

I can quote a bunch of stats and list all their shows,however, I suggest that  you  go to their site and listen to their podcasts.  all the stats and information is found there. You will be sold on them.  I do not care if you are gay or straight or whatever.  It is absolutely FREE, too.

So for anyone who really wants to know what the ideal podcast should be like now matter what the theme or subject matter is should study and learn more about the Feast of Fun!  They are the benchmark of podcast excellence.  No one else comes close.

Once you listen to them, please vote for them each day on the two categories until the end of the month.

In the meanwhile,  treat yourself to a daily dose of the Feast of Fun!

[Via http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com]

Homosexuality - not a crime, it's just natural !!!

by Tahera Ahsan

All of us have great love for love. We take immense joy in seeing two people fall in love with each other and indulge their love for each other. But what we necessarily assume when such a picture is painted to us is that it concerns two people from opposite sexes. Would the society feel the same joy if these two people were from the same sex, i.e. - were homosexuals? The answer is a clear-cut, sharp, unhesitant-NO! Thus the question arises, is romantic love only limited to members of the opposite sex? Can’t people of the same-sex fall in love with one another? Unfortunately in our society, they are not allowed to. But what we must realize is that just as homosexuals do not have the freedom to choose their sexuality, we, the society should not have the right to suppress them either.

In the world of today, where the number of people having sex outside of marriage and also with the same sex are on the rise, given this, should we not shift our focus on to more serious matters? Like the matter of spreading a deadly disease perhaps? Diseases like AIDS is caused not only by having homosexual sex but by having sex without protection, and the disease spreads because of having sexual relationships with multiple partner.

‘Practicing’ homosexuality is a sin in Islam, of that there is not doubt. Nonetheless, amongst all the sins that people choose to commit, can we really say that this is the worst? Some homosexuals are promiscuous and also do not practice safe sex, but we cannot generalize and say that all homosexuals are the same! If two homosexual men/women are in a monogamous relationship and practice safe sex, which means  that they are not spreading a deadly disease, then does it not reduce the numbers of ‘wrongs’ being committed? We are all usually quick to point out, that all sex outside marriage is wrong, but what we do not want to consider is that there may be degrees of ‘wrongness’. No one has the right to prosecute someone on the basis of their sexual orientation as this is something that comes to the person naturally, it’s only normal to speculate that just maybe it is not such an unnatural thing after all. Our society must in time give homosexuality the acceptance it deserves. We must start treating our fellow human beings as equals, not on the basis of what form of sexuality they prefer.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

'Tis the season to ask all the wrong questions

The thing about writing a blog is that there’s a written account of things I meant to do….or things I wish I had never done….but most often of things that make me look a fool. It’s not a talent, mind you, I am just naturally foolish. Foolish and not very shy. Case in point, my ambitious rule of the PTA bulletin board at Gavin’s school. Have I busted out my brilliance on a bulletin board display to date? No. Have I displayed my Christmas wish list in the hopes that PTA members will buy gifts for me? I haven’t, but there’s still time. I haven’t even emailed committees about their stupid upcoming events. Nope. I wait until the PTA Head Mistress emails them and copies me on it. And then I respond by telling her what a good idea that was. I’m probably really letting down that group of dads calling themselves W.A.T.C.H Dogs, but I don’t need a random collection of dads watching my kid or promoting themselves as “good” role models. Puh-lease bitches, y’all need to be watching the street out front and keeping rude parents from stopping IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET to pick up their kids.

I’ve also written about my vibrator a ridiculous number of times. In fact, it’s one of the most used tags on my blog. Douche, humping, nipples, porn, ass, and balls are the other big ones. Obviously, I need to vary my vocabulary but nothing else seems to have the power to convey my true feelings about a douche quite like the word “douche” does. But I’m open to suggestions. Sadly, Shakira, My Little Pony, and Ice Road Truckers are the terms that generate the most hits on my blog. To be honest, I’m a little concerned about the My Little Pony fetish that seems to be happening.

And just when I think I’ve shared enough embarrassing stories about my life with you, my memory and inability to filter my writing in a more appropriate manner prevail! I wish I could stop myself RIGHT NOW but that’s not going to happen. Instead, I’m going to tell you about the time when Tom and I were dating and we were invited to a holiday party. It was early in our relationship and though we had known each other for years, I hadn’t met most of the people at this party. And if you didn’t know before, I have a slight issue with control. Issue as in Janet Jackson is constantly singing about it in my head, complete with synthesized percussion. Yeah, that’s right, I made an obscure 80’s reference…that includes a Jackson. Suck it, bitches.

And so in wanting to know everything that might possibly happen at this party, I asked Tom what kind of party it was going to be. He was like, “What do mean? It’s just a party.” Clearly, that wasn’t a thorough answer. So, I asked, “Are there going to be any girls kissing?” WHAT?! I know, I can’t believe that was the question I thought would give me the best indication of what to expect at a party. Not, “Should we stop and get a bottle of wine?” or “Is this see-through shirt appropriate?” No. I basically wanted to know if I was going to get drunk enough to go Katy Perry for the night. But I JUST wanted to be prepared. New groups make me nervous!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Love Won't Let Me Be Silent

Love Won’t Let Me Be Silent

*Nominated for  Several National Literary Awards*

Author, Terry Angel Mason
-2010 Pulitzer Nominee-

Terry Angel Mason, the African-American author who is rapidly becoming internationally acclaimed, is highly regarded for his ability to overcome adversity. Many would go so far as to say Mason is a Maverick of an angel since his life reads like an excerpt from Tony Kushner’s Angels in America. He has a momentous quest, having overcome two life threatening-illnesses. Mason’s thought-provoking articles, life-changing stories, and sensual romantic poetry about the Black gay experience touches and inspires millions of lives worldwide  as is evidenced by the numerous distributors who carry his much sought-after literary masterpiece, LOVE WON’T LET ME BE SILENT.

Mason’s new book is proving to be tremendously appealing to men and women of all ages and ethnicities in every country at a record pace, garnering international attention, recognition, and media acclaim; defying geographical boundaries, overcoming language barriers (appealing to more than just the gay community), and crossing over into the broader heterosexual community in ways that few authors have been able to do — and is particularly popular with women!

Love Won’t Let Me Be Silent is a collection of writings, short stories, and poems that falls into several categories, including gay and lesbian fiction and non-fiction, African American fiction and non-fiction, and urban fiction.

Perhaps one of the reasons that Mason is experiencing tremendous success is because of his unique creative way of crafting poetic stories that show readers a more positive perspective of same-gender-loving people. Additionally, many credit Mason with opening up a whole new dialogue about sexuality and same-gender-loving relationships within the Black community, specifically within the Black Church. Gay activists and Civil Rights leaders often applaud his seemingly unending humanitarian efforts and ferocious courage, believing that perhaps one day his efforts will lead to the demise of the much despised “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in many religious circles; enhance understanding of the LGBT community, and/or at the least, soften the hearts of family members and clergy who may be opposed to a gay lifestyle.

America has barely smoothed its feathers — ruffled badly last year by the California Supreme Court’s initial decision to lift the ban on gay marriage, followed by a divisive election that reversed the decision and placed the matter again before the California Supreme Court for repeal. These chilling events led to an epiphany that compelled him to write Love Won’t Let Me Be Silent. These electrifying writings are destined to make him one of the foremost voices of the African-American gay experience. We have no doubt that the artistry and enduring vision that Mason demonstrates in this inspiring book will cause a revolutionary awakening in America and the world and continue to influence our culture, reshape our thinking, and touch our hearts and lives for decades.

LOVE WON’T LET ME BE SILENT

ISBN: 978-1-4401-5221-4 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-4401-5219-1 (cloth)
ISBN: 978-1-4401-5220-7 (ebk)

Special Note: VISIT THE AUTHOR’S WEBSITE FOR A LIST NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTORS – WWW.TERRYANGELMASON.COM

YOU ARE INVITED TO VISIT THIS DYNAMIC AUTHOR’S WEBSITE:

There, you will be able to listen to his inspiring audio podcasts, access itinerary information, gain more insightful information about the book, and purchase the book as well.

WWW.TERRYANGELMASON.COM

Mason is known for his breakthrough revolutionary book, Love Won’t Let Me Be Silent, that is becoming a testament for many gays and lesbians struggling with their sexuality and the need to come out to their family and friends. What started out as a self-published nonfiction book has now become a literary phenomenon consistently earning him numerous literary nominations; while at the same time, gaining a place of reverence in the hearts and minds of millions of readers — both men and women worldwide.

The African-American Gay Author who is Garnering International Attention,
Recognition, and Media Acclaim at a Record Pace!

This book is perfect for that mother or father who has a gay son, daughter, or relative and does not know how to embrace a person living a lifestyle that they were told will definitely damn him or her to an eternity without the Creator, and they need answers. Since thousands of people worldwide must face the fact each day that they are attracted to someone of the same gender, it is often difficult for them to find inner peace and resolution to the pain and conflicts raging in the depths of their souls. This book provides those answers and much more! The insight contained within these pages already has a proven reputation of saving the lives of thousands of teens who are in the throes of life and ready to end it all.

For those who have made it successfully through this perilous process and have accepted who they are but still wrestle with the question of why they are not able to find that perfect fulfilling love relationship that they have dreamed of all their lives, this book will show them how to do it and how to maintain it once they find it — something the whole world wants to know!

Another pressing matter that our country faces today is whether or not gay rights is in fact a Civil Rights issue, and if Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. would have supported gay rights. This revolutionary book proves that injustice, prejudice, and any form of discrimination is something that not only was inconsistent with King’s vision and beliefs but is also something that he was adamantly opposed to.

Now I invite you to discover the life-changing principles drawn forth from my life experiences and Divine inspiration contained within the pages of this book; but hold on to your seat because the contents will not only thrill and enlighten you but bless you beyond measure!

“Injustice Anywhere is a Threat to Justice Everywhere”
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Terry Angel Mason

 

A couple months ago Mike and I were in West Hollywood and had a chance to meet a wonderful man by the name of Terry Mason who also happens to be the author of a new book, Love Won’t Let Me Be Silent. Touching on coming out, relationships and civil rights this collection of writings, short stories, and poems is a fresh look at gay life from an African-American perspective. So go check out his website and let him know Queer Stockton sent ya!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Prejean Follow up

Last one, I promise.  (Unless something really wild comes along.)

Carrie Prejean

Carrie’s latest cross to bear?  Her appearance on Larry King Live didn’t go so well.  Larry asked a rather vague question about her recent court settlement, and the former Miss California USA pageant winner went into a snit, telling King that his question was “inappropriate”.  It would seem Miss Prejean hasn’t had any coaching in how to deflect a question she doesn’t want to answer.  She’s still in the “poor little ole’ me, everyone’s picking on me just because I don’t think gays should have any rights” mode. She tried to take her microphone off and storm out, but apparently even that didn’t come off as planned.  Poor little Carrie, can’t even pull off a snit correctly!

Another burden for our beauty queen to deal with came when her former boyfriend announced that  Carrie had done the “solo” sex video for him, and that there was more than just the one!  Carrie’s claim that she was a foolish 17 year old when the video was made was disputed by her former paramour, who says she was twenty at the time it was recorded.

The religious right first championed Carrie,  who became their darling when Perez Hilton went into queen bitch mode on his blog about her response to his question during the pageant about same-sex marriage.  Carrie was instantly the right-wing Princess who was being hated on by the evil homosexual activists for standing up for Christian morality.  Milking that for all she could, she was trotted out around the country at right-wing events.  She got herself into hot water with the Donald (owner of the Miss USA pageants) after failing to appear at pageant events, and showing up at those unsanctioned right-wing events.  The Donald finally told her “YOU”RE FIRED!”, and she sued for “religious discrimination” in her employment.  That’s when the “solo” act surfaced, and the trial was suddenly settled with all parties signing non-disclosure agreements.  The wingnut cancellations began immediately (see my previous post).

How much you want to bet she ends up doing weather for some TV station in Orange County?  Or maybe Fox will put her in her own show.  They’ll have a slot to fill after Glenn Beck is gone, assuming the fantasies he believes come true.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Looking for L.O.V.E.?

 

It’s my pleasure to announce that L.O.V.E.: The Legion of Vigilant Enforcers, my sixth book with Sizzler Editions of Renaissance Ebooks is on sale NOW!  Here’s a taste of the back cover:

Six Sexy Superheroes (and Superheroines) find their fight to save a city against destruction by Major Ruin, a fiendish Supervillain. is not as hard as their fight against their inner demons and lusts! Meet Mental Giant, a powerful telepath ; Astra Delphiana, an alien cop;  Eye Candi, a voluptuous fiery brawler; Plasma-X a brash, egotistical energy bolt flinger; Lavender Mystic, wielding the dark power of an Irish banshee; and Checkered Past, a hero with a deep dark secret. Seducing each other, and those they meet, rescuing the innocent from danger, battling for their lives, they still can’t help but finding the Supervillains (and Supervillainesses) they battle incredibly arousing. Compelling characters and a sexy storyline make this Christopher Newman’s most remarkable erotic tale yet.

 Here’s an excerpt:

Lavender Mystic a.k.a. Maeve O’Reilly was moaning in pleasure as Jonny began snaking his plasma energized cock between her quivering ass-cheeks and deep into her cunt.  Bent over at the waist causing a deluge of water ran down her body, through her cleavage and pooling at her feet.  The twenty-year old’s heavy breasts bobbing and shivering from her man’s pounding pace.  Reaching out with both hands she steadied herself against the front of the shower stall and tossing her head back to cry out in delight.  The hot vibrations of her boyfriend’s shaft electrifying her sensitive inner tissued cleft like no lover had done before.  Sex with Jonny was more than just good, it was downright amazing!

          “Oh Jonny!” she wailed deliciously.  “Fuck me hard!”

          “You’re so g-good,” he sobbed out behind her. “Nice and tight babe!”

          Reaching between her legs she began stroking her engorged clitoris which made her long legs nearly buckle from pure joy.  Jonny’s hands gripping her swinging tits and grinding desperate fingers into the flesh of her bosom.  Rocking her body back and forth increasing the depths of his penetration of her pussy Maeve’s climax was soon teetering on the edge of explosion.

          “Give it to me!” she demanded softly.  “Give me all of that glorious cock!”

          He didn’t reply.  His hips going into a frenzy of activity driving his thick member harder and faster into her overly stimulated cunt.  One of his hands retreating from her breasts quickly made its presence known to her when he began slapping the right side of her buttocks.  A shocking sting of energy was transmitted from his palm to her rear.  It was more than she could bear.

          “O-oh shit!” she shrieked.

          Maeve’s vision went surreal and the world seemed to take on a distant quality when the detonation between her shivering thighs went off.  Stars appearing in her eyes until she was reduced to a convulsing mass of happy nerve endings and groaning delight.  Sliding off his cock she dropped to her knees in front of him, her legs now unable to support her any longer.

          “You forgetting something babe?” he inquired.

          Twisting around in the shower she was confronted by his bobbing purple-headed cock.  Lunging forward she gobbled it up to the delightful moans of Jonny.  A momentary flash of revulsion passed through her mind when she realized she was sampling the muskiness of her own pussy.  But it was swept away with ease when she took into account the mind-blowing sex he could provide.  Her tongue worked overtime as it teased the bumpy texture of his shaft.  Pushing forward with his hips and driving his member deep into her throat until she could barely breathe.  Gagging slightly she permitted him to delve as far down her gullet as he wished.  A shudder ran through him.

          I would do anything for him! She cheered silently. 

And she had.

          He was her first, her best, and her life.  From the moment they met a year ago the two of them were inseparable both in battle or not.  He had taken her virginity with tender ease, leaving her a full-fledged woman not the sniveling teenager her grandmother treated her as.  He was so much better than that vibrator she had shamefully bought and hidden in her apartment.  His member hummed with more energy than any sex toy could possibly be designed to do. 

          He is deceiving you, the dark Sidhe power she had been born with whispered.  He is untrue to you!

          You lie! She shouted back mentally.  He loves me!

Cream Pie Orgy 12

Title Cream Pie Orgy 12 Genres All Sex, Anal, Creampie, DP, Orgy, Lesbian, Threesome Actors Amateurs Studio Devil’s Film Review Here cum 10 smoking hot sluts who love the feel of hot cum from a room full of studs getting pumped up their pulsing pussies almost as much as feeling it ooze right back out again. They don’t do much baking but they love making as many cream pies as their streaming snatch can handle. So get ready for a jizz soaked orgy as load after gushing load pours out of the pinkest, wettest and hottest you’ve ever seen. And bring plenty of towels, this is going to make quite a mess!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

More homophobia from the GOP

The Republican governor of Rhode Island, Don Carcieri, has vetoed a bill that would allow domestic partners to make funeral and burial plans for their partners, stating that the bill represents “incremental erosion of the principles surrounding traditional marriage.”

Say what?

The bill that Carcieri vetoed has nothing — nothing — to do with marriage of any kind. Heterosexual marriage is the only kind of marriage allowed in Rhode Island, so Carcieri’s reason makes exactly zero sense.

Because Carcieri cannot articulate a logical reason for vetoing this bill, I can only conclude that it’s a senseless reaction based on irrational fear of homosexuals.

It’s also heartless. The bill that Carcieri vetoed “was an outgrowth of the wrenching tale that Mark S. Goldberg told lawmakers about his months-long battle last fall to persuade state authorities to release to him the body of his partner of 17 years, Ron Hanby, for cremation,” according to the Providence Journal. [emphasis mine]

Can someone please tell me what’s so freakin’ scary about homosexuals? Please?

Attractions of the Heart by Cheri Crystal

Cheri Crystal is a favorite author of mine whom I had the pleasure of meeting in Ptown last month and I’m delighted to feature her work.

Cheri’s stories are always fresh and fun. Her latest release, Attractions of the Heart, is wonderful collection of short erotic stories, every one a gem in its own right.

Who can resist dipping into such intriguing titles as “Best Friends Don’t F*ck.”, “Mile High Dare.” or “Does The Butch Come With The Recipe?”, to name just three of the 18 stories in this anthology?  

Attractions of the Heart by Cheri Crystal

Blurb: Attractions of the Heart, a romantic collection of erotic short stories, begins with a hot date, and ends with a commitment ceremony. Enjoy a lovely meal at “Lobster Box.” Take a Caribbean vacation and plan ground rules that aren’t set in stone in “Best Friends Don’t F*ck.” How about “Going Fishing” for the ultimate hook up? Or “Taking Chances” on love when the stakes are high. Who said “Climbing Rocks,” “Dogging,” or “Trucking” couldn’t lead to sexcapades? Maybe you need an “Exercise Dyke” for the supreme workout or you wonder when designing a cookbook as a fundraiser for your softball team, “Does The Butch Come With The Recipe?”  Maybe you’re ready to take a “Mile High Dare.” Whatever your tastes, Cheri Crystal offers an impressive FemErotica selection. So, have fun with “Tina in Toyland,” hire an “Escort,” say, “Me, Too,” for a three-way, win an award in “Debut,” have a “Nightcap,” or try “Keeping Up With Hornelia,” but don’t miss “Seeing It Through.”

 For critically acclaimed, “funny, charming stories,” “crisp writing,” “frank sexuality,” and “top of the line female eroticism,” Cheri Crystal’s Attractions of the Heart has something for everyone.

Excerpt from “Seeing It Through.”

Mom bribed, threatened, and begged me to stop chopping off my hair with her fabric shears and ordered me to put on a little rouge—her word, not mine. I was offered everything from a nose job, because I broke the schnozzola twice tackling the football team in the schoolyard just to prove they weren’t so tough, to a trip to Disney. Seriously, Disney! I refused to have my teeth fixed and thought the overbite gave me character. My teeth were crooked, but so what? They worked. If I had to, I could rip through uncooked flesh with my uneven choppers.

Mom said I had such pretty blue eyes, and if only I’d use a bit of mascara to show off my light lashes. Yeah, right Mom. Like I’d be caught dead in make-up. She also threatened that I’d be grounded if I didn’t stay out from under cars, but her words were meaningless, and I knew it. While other girls snuck cigarettes or gave head behind the bleachers, I was sneaking an oil change or doing brake jobs at Fred’s Body Shop. Mom gave up for good when I told her I was joining the Corps.

Up until I left for Parris Island, April and I hung out in my basement getting high and listening to CDs, mostly heavy metal for me or pop rock and shit like that for her. She was the only person on the planet who didn’t try to change me. She was also my number one fantasy, but I never told her that. Heck, I don’t think I admitted it to myself. Until now…now that it was too late.

I had often relived her sixteenth birthday party, and here on her wedding day, I couldn’t help but go there again. Without mercy, my mind played tricks on me and brought me back to that night. She was sweet sixteen and never been kissed. I knew this for a fact. All the kids in our pack played truth or dare. Someone had dared me to kiss April. And she looked, well, aside from being a total babe, she was suddenly bold, and I felt like a heart attack waiting to happen.

The guys punched their fists in the air, and more than a few girls joined in on the chant. “Do it! Do it!” The whistles and catcalls echoed in time with my heart. I walked over to her, took her hands in mine and gazed directly into her sparkling eyes. She glanced at my lips and licked hers in what seemed like a silent movie in slow motion.

A boy had kissed me, once, but April’s kiss was different. Monumentally different. We leaned toward each other as the shouts grew louder. I placed my lips on hers, not fully registering the noise surrounding us, forgetting what and where I was and why I was doing this in front of our friends. I expected a platonic peck, but she had a better idea. Our first kiss was laced with a lingering caramel nougat flavor and had a sweetness all its own. I can still taste it.

Every cell in my body was on alert from that electrified embrace. She grabbed my head and pulled me close, so that I could feel her breasts, hipbones, and torso. I got carried away, and so did she. The cheering sounded distant and muffled. I felt every lick and suck as if it was happening to my crotch. I couldn’t help the way my entire body responded. I didn’t stop her. I had to have it like morphine after a self-inflicted wound. There was no turning back. And then I let go. I came hard. In my pants. Involuntarily, I shuddered, and although the visual tremor was subtle, I died right then and there. I was more mortified than I had ever been in my mere sixteen years of life. How was I going to face anyone ever again?

April pulled away first, looked at me for a second, and then turned to our gang. She curtseyed. It was all a show to her. She gloated like we’d just pulled off the greatest prank. I fled without looking back. We never talked about what happened that night.

Latest Review:

 Cheri Crystal’s first anthology is written and produced with great spirit. A collection of 18 stories each one with its own picture page introduction making this edition a must for collectors of erotic fiction. Well-formed characters tell of their intent as they lead us to their goal with a fun yet determined tone.

Crystal’s flair is consistent throughout the book. Her tales are varied and slip easily into each sex scene. No shadows in here. It is all good open sex and there is something for everyone including: love stories like “Lobster Box,” fun with toys in “Tina in Toyland,” group sex in “Me Too,” voyeurism in “Dogging,” desire in “Gone Fishing” and much more. I found Attractions of the Heart to be a great value. ~Willis, amazon.com

Available direct from amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Attractions-Heart-Cheri-Crystal/dp/1600542980

 Check out Cheri Crystal’s loveyoudivine alterotica author shelf: http://www.loveyoudivine.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=6_45

Visit her website: www.chericrystal.com

 About the author: Cheri Crystal reviews lesbian fiction when she’s not busy spending time with her family, working in healthcare, and writing her own lesbian adventures and erotic romances. She enjoys all types of intellectual and physical activities and considers herself lucky that she can immerse herself in the literary community at every spare opportunity. Cheri has many published stories in anthologies and online with www.loveyoudivine.com. She’s written two novels and is working on a third. Her first solo anthology, Attractions of the Heart, came out in October 2009 and was launched in Provincetown during the 25th Annual Celebration of Women’s Week. It was an exciting and rewarding experience she’ll never forget. Visit Cheri’s Website: http://www.chericrystal.com or Contact her at cheri@chericrystal.com She’d love to hear from you.

 More Cheri Crystal links:

 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/chericrystal?v=feed&story_fbid=96253148665#/chericrystal?ref=profile

Ebook stories also available from: http://www.loveyoudivine.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=6_45

AllRomanceEbooks.com: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/storeSearch.html

Fictionwise: http://www.fictionwise.com/ebooks/b96382/Me-Too/Cheri-Crystal/?si=0

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_0_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=cheri+crystal&sprefix=cheri+cry

Amazon Author’s Page: http://www.amazon.com/Cheri-Crystal/e/B002VG3738/ref=sr_tc_2_0

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Women's Center of San Joaquin County

Hello Queer Stockton!

First of all, I just wanted to say that on behalf of the Women’s Center of San Joaquin County, I am so honored and ecstatic to be reaching out to the LGBT community concerning domestic violence and sexual assault issues.  My name is Monique, and I am a Sexual Assault Prevention Specialist for the Women’s Center.  For my first blog, I just wanted to give you a little history about the Women’s Center and the services we offer.

The Women’s Center of San Joaquin County is a non-profit organization (that means all of our services are for FREE) that was first established in 1976.  I do not want all of you to be fooled by the name “Women’s Center”, however, because in 1978, we saw our first male victim walk through our doors.

With that said, on to our services!  The Center’s primary mission as far as our services go is to provide a wide range of supportive, educational and crisis intervention services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.  The services are as follows:

  • 24-hour sexual assault and domestic violence crisis helplines: DV (209) 465-4878; SA (209) 465-4997.
  • Individual Peer Counseling by a certified domestic violence and sexual assault counselor in English, Spanish, South Asian and Southeast Asian languages.
  • Support groups for battered women, sexual assault survivors, Adults Molested as Children, developmentally disabled victims, and teen victims of sexual assault.
  • Our advocacy and accompaniment services include: 24-hour hospital response, accompaniment to law enforcement agencies and court hearings, temporary restraining order assistance, legal and justice system information, and information and referrals to other agencies.
  • Women’s Center shelters are safe havens for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence.  We have two shelters at undisclosed locations in Stockton and Tracy, respectively.  Our shelters are for women and children only, however, we will put men in need of fleeing dangerous situations in motel/hotel rooms.
  • The Prevention Education program provides sexual assault prevention education and teen dating violence education to people of all ages throughout San Joaquin County.  For more details or to schedule a presentation at your school, job or community organization, please contact (209) 941-2611.

I know this is a lot of information, but I just wanted to let you all know what the Women’s Center is all about and that we are here to serve you!  I look forward to all of your comments and future blogging.  Until next time, Queer Stockton!

Lots of Love,

Monique

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Shit Happens....

I have decided to stop posting my favorite iPhone apps on this blog, and have decided instead to actually start a totally different blog specifically dedicated only to them called: Holy App!  So if you have enjoyed my past few posts about the apps that have made me abandon my masturbation addiction, be sure to check it out!  I will however, still continue to post ridiculous shit that I manage to find while doing my usual drunken crawl through the world wide web.

To help ease the pain of this transition I have included the following video by comedic bad-ass Jon LaJoie (be sure to check out his album on iTunes too… fuckin. awesome.)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

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Why bother?

I went to see my best friend from graduate school over vacation last weekend and it was great to see her.  She and I have known each other for 11-years, and time with her made me realize that I’m so lucky to have as many best freinds as I do from different periods of my life.  The gift of being 35, I guess.  Anyway, she is interested in this guy, who knew this triathlete.  She was gorgeous, the same sign as me, has also had a straight marriage, loves being outside, and is Italian.  Lots of similarities, but she is chained to FL.  Honestly, she can’t leave.

She is coming to see me this winter, and it feels funny.  I mean that most of me feels like it is foolish.  She sent me a picture of the full moon above the ocean about 8-hours after I landed home and told me that she wants to visit and does not care if my best friend is with her or not.  I loved her non sequitur too, as she texted me the next day, “Do you want me to visit with or without my kids?”  I love how direct she is and she said that we likely “gel” because of my East Coast attitude (where she is originally from).  How much do we really gel though?  Waiting until after the first of the year now is what I’m doing.

If we sleep together, isn’t that pretty self-destructive?  It would likely hurt her too.  We’ve done nothing currently, which is probably really good.  Now, it will be interesting the way in which these next two months go, so I can see if we can see each other when she visits platonically.  Why the hell am I so similar to a girl who lives 4.5 hours in a plane from me and can probably never leave?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Potential Prejean sex tape surfaces

Psst! Carrie, tuck in your nipple. Jesus is watching. Photo from TMZ.com.

Today is a most glorious day, for it has been revealed that the conservative values preaching former Miss California Carrie Prejean has dropped her lawsuit against the Miss California USA organization because an graphic sex tape of her has allegedly surfaced. Hallelujah.

From TMZ.com:

“They showed her the X-Rated version of Home Alone, starring Carrie herself.

“When the video started playing, Carrie’s first reaction was ‘that’s disgusting’ and Carrie denied it was her.

“Then, the camera angle changed and panned up to her face. She was caught red-handed, so to speak.

“Carrie was rendered speechless and immediately began talking with her lawyer. We’re told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to drop her $1 million demand.”

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

It was bound to happen: Every idiot who wants to be famous knows a sex tape can help take a pseudo-celebrity’s D-list status up a couple of notches.

Groups like the National Organization for Marriage defended Prejean when scandalous photos surfaced. I wonder if Maggie Gallagher, president of NOM, and other conservative leaders will come to her rescue now. Family values indeed.

A Poem and Song

I’m having problems thinking of something to write right now because I’m going brain dead. So, this is a poem that my mom sent me one time. I’m not sure who wrote it, but here it is:

Differences

Dolls and trucks

pinks and blues…

The line begins to blur.

He likes her, she likes him

but she also kinda likes her.

He’s out on the field,

She’s there to cheer

but he can’t help but notice

the guys that are near.

Afraid to face it

Can it really be true?

Neither one knows

just what to do.

They can’t tell their parents

they don’t tell their friends.

They suffer in silence

and hope that it ends.

She wants to like boys,

He wants to like girls,

but each starts to realize

there’s a whole other world.

Do they deny who they are

and hide from the hate?

Or step out of the closet

and accept their fate.

It’s a sad situation

our kids face everyday,

till they gain the acceptance

to go their own way.

If we’d open our minds

and open our hearts,

help them fight for their rights

So they aren’t set apart.

Life could be better

for the gay and the straight

if we would just cease our judgement

and stop feeding the hate.

We’re all made so different,

yet so much the same

not one of God’s children

should cower in shame.

Black or white, gay or straight

every soul should celebrate.

For who they are and what they’ll be

just might set this whole world free.

 

The song is one I wrote lyrics to but not music when I was taking Songwriting in high school.

 

Walking down the street

Watching your back

For your defeat

When you hear the crack

It’s just another day

When you know you can’t stay

 

Even when your not feeling strong

Just keep hanging on

When your not feeling like you belong

Just keep holding on

 

Wondering this world

Not knowing when you getting beat

While your life is being hurled

And you can’t get back on your feet

When there’s nothing left to do

And everything’s askew

 

Even when your not feeling strong

Just keep hanging on

When your not feeling strong

Just keep hanging on

 

When your suffering in silence

That you wish you could control

Trying to find that brilliance

That hides in your soul

When everything else has been foregone

Just keep holding on

 

Now run it by me one more time

Cause the lights growing dim

The past won’t let me climb

And the future’s looking grim

Pull it back together and

Hope for better weather

 

When your suffering in silence

That you wish you could control

Trying to find that brilliance

That hides in your soul

When everything else has been foregone

Just keep holding on

Sunday, November 1, 2009

An Act Of Love That Fails Is Just As Much A Part Of The Divine Life As An Act Of Love That Succeeds, For Love Is Measured By Fullness, Not By Reception...

I’m pleased that my little precious “pumpkin” and I have come full circle enough that I can honk and wave at her, or, we can say Hi, thank you, and you’re welcome when she chooses to make an appearance. For us that’s progress I guess, because sadly our ending and the conclusion of us, goes something like this…We act as if we’re 2 distant strangers that have never known each other before…I will not bother her nor would I ever trouble her for anything again…Even sharing simple conversation seems impossible for us, at this point…I tried once, but she made herself very clear by turning away and saying absolutely nothing to me whatsoever…Well, no wait! She said the word “what.” But in her defense! The last words I chose to communicate with her before this were hateful and bitter, including the words “Go Away, and Stay Away!” But then enough time had passed by and healing had begun…So I tried to be friendly and talk to her again afterwards…Although it was obvious that she wasn’t in the same frame of mind…But you know, truthfully I cannot blame her in the slightest way either! I would be kind to her on one day and cruel and hateful on another…I was hurting after all…But regardless of that, she has every right to ride any bus she wants to, without any hassle from anyone, including me…I’m there to do my job, and maintain myself professionally…So that’s what I do, but nothing more nor anything less concerning her…Even when she hurt her leg, somehow? It just about killed me, but I said nothing, respectfully and kept quite…

She will come to my bus from time to time, but I can’t help to wonder why she does? Of course I’ll never know? Although I seriously doubt it’s just for a ride…No, some other reason has got to be involved…Because for 1 thing, her personality is about as complex as mine is! And while I can definitely be care-free and spontaneous at times, generally I prefer to think ahead and plan things out beforehand, especially if I want to avoid someone…And I feel that we are similar in this way…But for 2, if she is simply taking my bus randomly, and that’s true after all…Well, mathematically she would be riding on my bus more, not less! More than she actually does now anyway…But she doesn’t…I’m pretty darn positive that she goes out of her way to avoid me on most days truthfully…However, she has her girlfriend with her often, and maybe this is her way of being courteous, and respectful towards me when they’re together? By riding on any other bus, other than mine? Perhaps I’m giving her too much credit? I don’t know…But I’m most grateful if that’s the case, after all…I would much prefer that she remain distant from me when she’s got her love interest by her side…But with deep sincerity, I give her much credit and I will say this much for her…

She was aware of the power she had over me, and she knew how to crush my heart and spirit completely if she wanted to, but yet she didn’t…You know, I did something rare by trusting her enough to share my feelings and vulnerabilities with her…And I shall never forget her kindheartedness, for as long as I live! By choosing not to hurt me as much as she could have…It makes me think to myself, that she must have really cared about me, after all…Sure, it’s possible that fear prevented her from doing such hurtful things to me? But I choose to believe she is so much better than that, truly…I want to believe that I meant something to her after all, that I was worth more to her than just sex…That I was worthy of her love too, because I strongly felt as though she loved me deeply, once upon a time…

Truthfully, I don’t understand very much at all…For she remains a mystery to me…She is like kryptonite, draining me of all my superpowers…I surmise that my intuition is completely useless where she is concerned…And my gut instinct is of no use either…All of it becomes worthless! She engulfs me in utter confusion, and my strength vanishes away…I hate to admit that I was defeated, but…

Confusion will continue to linger around and torment me, when I allow it too…I’ve  got so many unanswered questions to choose from, I hardly know where to begin…I can’t help but wonder what prompts her to enter into my presence from time to time? Does she miss me too perhaps? Is there something she wants/needs to say to me, but she just can’t find the courage or the proper words that fit? Or, does she simply need to hear my voice, and see my face every so often? The questions will just keep coming at me if I don’t stop them…Although sometimes this becomes impossible for me to do *sigh*As a prime example, I wonder if she was behind sending her current gf onto my bus alone one day? Or is it possible that her gf did this all on her own? Which ever it was, she definitely made herself known to me nonetheless…And their/her mission was succesful! Because I got the message loud and clear that this is her new girlfriend! Although honestly, this event was more humorous for me than it was hurtful…I mean seriously, she sat by me, having a cell phone conversation, of course mentioning “pumpkin’s” name rather loudly, I suppose so I would be sure to hear her? And the conversation was about meeting “pumpkin” later on at her studio, clearly…Although she did say “thank you” when she stepped out beyond the door while she turned back to get a look at me…She was just steps away from being at “pumpkin’s” apartment after all, but apparently the phone call was necessary anyway…^smile^

Therefore I will show them both the proper respect as a couple…And, I won’t attempt to make peace with “pumpkin” anymore either…She ignored everything I had to say anyway…But honestly, I had nothing left to lose…And it was a lovely letter that I wrote to her? By simply ignoring the letter and not responding she managed to send me a very clear and precise message that I couldn’t help but understand already…

Therefore in conclusion..I’ve had to put forth much effort into eliminating this need of mine that yearns for understanding certain situations that’s not meant to be understood obviously…I have to constantly wrestle with the temptation too think that I can make sense out of every single circumstance…I must learn to surrender everything, especially the things I have absolutely no control over in the first place! When will I ever learn that my will or my best intentions cannot change one much in the grand scheme of things? Because it basically consumes me when I allow it to…

What I do know for certain, and what I would do much better to keep in mind after all…Is when “pumpkin” wanted me in her life, she made herself very clear about it and she made herself available! Plus, when she wanted me to understand her motives and intentions towards me, she made it effortless…She would boldly tell me what she wanted me to know…But then she became more evasive over time…

I don’t know, perhaps it’s just time I admit to myself that I wasn’t as important or special to her as I had once thought I was…She would give me such conflicting information at times that I couldn’t decipher what she truly meant to say to me any longer…Because at one point she did tell me that she was only using me to gain sexual experience and yet the next day she told me that she loved me over the phone, for the first time? Sadly, I’m beginning to understand the truth of the matter I guess, which I cannot fault her for either, in all honesty…Perhaps she only thought that she loved me in the beginning, but realized she didn’t after all and grew bored and tired of me fairly quickly? I suppose that she was ashamed of me also…And when she told me that she had “no feelings for me at all” suppose she actually meant it…I thought she was just speaking from anger and hurt at the time unfortunately *sigh* But you know what, I’m an adult, I actually knew better, and yet, I chose to go through this with her in spite of the facts…

She is young, and she is doing what a young, curious, woman does in her circumstances…She felt an attraction and the chemistry was there between us, so she pursued it with confidence…I adore her for that actually! And I was a full participant, I wasn’t helpless, nor was I her victim…She didn’t force me to do anything that I didn’t already desire to do with her from the very start…I could’ve turned her away, but I made the choice to remain available for her…So I absolutely refuse to feel sorry for myself about any of this nor do I have the right to be angry with her for any of this mess either! Sure, my heart breaks over losing her from my life, and yet it will always remain my utmost pleasure to have loved her as I did, after all…I will never understand her entirely, but I will always love her…I gave her my heart and my body to do with as she pleased, I gave her passion and sensuality…But, what she may never understand about my gift to her is that I kept my body absolutely pure for a very long time… And I waited patiently until the most special and rare person showed up to give myself to…She wasn’t quite what I was expecting to be honest, due to our age difference…But she was the one I had been waiting for nonetheless…So I followed my heart, instead of my head…For within my being, she brought me back to life…A feeling I’ve rarely felt from another human being…I shared a feeling of connectedness and affinity to another heart and soul…I felt as though I had loved her before? Beyond this life somewhere…But of course I was constantly aware of the risks too…Although it remains a fact that I cannot deny, that at the heart of the matter…I genuinely love my “Pumpkin” in a way I’ve never loved another before…Therefore I consider her my soulmate too, although there is another one yet to come for me…Yet, my “Pumpkin” will always remain an important lesson for me in becoming a less self-absorbed, less self-serving, less self-centered person…Because I make the choice to love her in each and every moment, despite how she may feel about me in return? And I’ve forgiven her for hurting me in the ways that she did, and I can only hope she finds it in her heart to forgive me someday for hurting her too…With the most unselfish love that my heart can possibly muster up, I continue to let go of her day by day, for her good as much as my own…

But most of all, I hope that she’s being loved as she truly deserves to be, and I pray that she is happy and living her life to its fullest, which is quite unselfish of me after all…I suppose that I am currently learning the truest meaning of love, trust and faith from moment to moment…And I trust in the wisdom of the Divine Spirit of Love, which has led me to this arduous work I’ve begun to do within myself…I believe with all of my heart, this pain I’m currently enduring will eventually manifest itself as blessings beyond my comprehension, at the appropriate time…One day I will be blessed to receive the same kind of love that my heart was created to give…And I will be loved with insurmountable amounts of love and finally I will know the meaning of true, gentle intimacy with a love to call my very own…Until then I shall keep the faith that she’ll arrive at the exact and proper time, when our paths finally meet…Although that time is not now…This is progress over perfection at work in my life…